Three things have inspired this post:
1. My sweet friend Jacquelyn, who started documenting the ways in which God tells her “I love you” through her everyday occurrences.
2. My dear anonymous friend who recently made a blog post titled, She’s Listening. She, being the Universe or God or whatever name you give to that force greater than you, evening out things and taking care of you.
3. And my final inspiration, my own negative thoughts and feelings.
It’s inevitable; you’re going to ache sometimes. You’re going to think negative thoughts. I’ve been trying to learn how to combat this cycle. The best thing that I’ve come up with is the to use the power of positive thinking. (I’m sorry I’m the cheesiest person of all time.)
I know it’s trite and sometimes useless to say “just think positively” to someone, especially when that person is dealing with the really difficult things in life. But, I truly do believe in fighting the good fight against negative thinking. Because negative thoughts hurt us. They cause us to make bad decisions. They make us ugly. And we don’t always think about what negative thinking is. It’s so tricky. It sneaks into our head and poisons us from the inside out. For me, it takes a lot discipline to keep my mind free from pollution, but I think it’s worth it. It makes us more beautiful. It makes experiencing life better.
Here are some examples of common negative thoughts that we might have. We don’t even realize they are sneaking in and shaping our personalities (for the worse).
· We think negative thoughts about a person. Maybe we’re mad because we think they’re “stealing” our style. Maybe we think that they’re wearing an ugly dress. Maybe we think they’re fake. Maybe we think they’re ignoring us. Maybe we think they’re rude. Maybe we think they treat people bad… It doesn’t matter where the negative thought comes from or what it is -it’s there and it’s not hurting them, it’s hurting US. When you think something mean about someone else, you are the only one who feels the negative consequence. It poisons your thoughts. And talking bad about other people is worse. You’re exposing who YOU are, not who THEY are.
· We hate the way we look in all of our clothes. Seriously, I hate those days. I’ll be getting ready for an event, trying on a million things and feeling miserable about the way I look. When I finally pick something that I still feel horrible in, I’m running late. I don’t feel confident. I don’t have a good time.
· We compare ourselves to others. When we are looking at ourselves based on other people, we’re never going to feel good. My mom used to say, There’s always going to be someone with more than you, and there’s always going to be someone with less than you. It’s true. The world is full of people. Some have more, some have less. Some are prettier, some are not. Some are smarter, some are not. I feel better when I compare myself to who I was yesterday, instead of comparing myself to the people I know.
· Fear. We’re afraid of loss or failure, so we don’t try anything new or challenging. We’re afraid of rejection so we don’t make ourselves vulnerable. We’re afraid of being let down. This is a destructive emotion to have and definitely a negative thought that I am guilty of (along with the others mentioned above).
So, what to do when we find ourselves in a negative thinking rut, or a heart ache? One of the things that I think helps me is to look for reminders in the world that God (The Universe) is taking care of you. When we fill our mind with good thoughts, it helps push the bad ones out. This is the part where the inspiration from Jacq’s and Single White Female’s blogs kick in. Look for the things in your life that you’re thankful for. Even if they’re small.
Going on long bike rides reminds me of why I am so thankful to be alive. When David Ross Boyd (OU’s first ever president) came to Norman, one of the first things he did was plant all of the trees on campus. He just thought having a beautiful campus was important for learning. I have to agree. when I take my bike to campus and ride around and look at all of the giant trees around me, I feel better about everything. Instead of feeling sad and anxious, I feel like I’m just a small part of this world, just as important and special as everything else, and all I have to do is try my best. I remember all of the things that I’m thankful for and all of the clear indications that I’m being taken care of.
When I was an undergraduate, this spot, (between Evan Hall and Bizzell where the ivy runs thick all the way up the building) used to be my favorite spot on campus. It’s so peaceful. There are some lovely benches that are wonderful thinking benches. Also, the steps at the end of this walk are the steps that taught me how to be really brave on my bike. It takes a lot of courage to get up the nerve to take your bike down concrete stairs (for non-tough people like me) and every time I am in this area, I remember that I have courage, and I learned how to ride my bike down concrete steps!
This is Gittinger Hall, or the English building. I earned a lot of my BA. This is one of the dinkier buildings on campus. I guess not a lot of English majors become rich donors. Who knew?
This is the College of Education, where I’m working on my M.Ed. Newly remodeled! Deciding to continue my education after I graduated, I think, was one of the best decisions I’ve made and I almost didn’t do it. I’m getting my Masters at a slow slow pace, but I only have three semesters left. It makes me feel proud. I am so thankful for the people that I’ve met and the discussions that I’ve had in my program. Education shapes people. It grows people. I believe in it. It makes me remember that I am still a work in progress.
And this brings me to my new favorite place on campus —> Goddard Health Center. Pretty much everyone knows I love my job (my very first professional job!). I love my boss (which I know not everyone can say). I love students. I love that we’re working toward a healthier campus.
So, those are some of the things that I’m thankful for and thinking of. Today try to remember the things that you’re thankful for and try pushing negative thoughts out. Look for the ways that God tells you he loves you… or the way the universe is taking care of you. Try filling your head with goodness.
Nicole
